Reflection: All I Want is a House

house

The one thing I want most in life is a house; a house that I own and can live in for the rest of my days. I want an address that never changes, somewhere you can always send a postcard or a letter and know that it will find me, even after years of not hearing from one another. I want a place where I can put down my roots, where I can stick things to the wall and not have to worry about how I’ll get them down again, where I can work for a garden and know that I will be the one to reap the rewards. I want a base for my children, somewhere they know inside and out, somewhere they feel safe and secure, somewhere stable and never changing.

The things we want most in life say a great deal about us, often – and certainly in my case – because they describe the very thing we’ve never had. I’m 22 years old, and I can list 19 different houses I have lived in. The longest I’ve ever lived in one house is 3 years. On the opposite side of the spectrum, one year we moved houses 5 times. The year after that we moved again, into the 12th house in 12 years, and that was when I realised that the one thing that I really wanted to get out of life, was to have one house.

I began looking at the real estate in the newspaper and fantasising about the life I would have one day in my one house. I started drawing house plans, designing my own perfect house. And I never stopped. 10 years and 7 houses later I still desire one house more than anything. I still occasionally bring out and obsess over a notebook of house plans: extending a room, adding a balcony, adding a window, moving a wardrobe, removing a balcony, adjusting a dining table.

My perfect house has now become a lavish dream house, complete with sprawling gardens and an ocean view, that few could afford. I hope one day that my writing can bless me with the means to bring it to life. But if not, I’m sure my doctor’s salary will suffice to provide me eventually with the funds for a house of my own, and really one house is all I want.

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9 thoughts on “Reflection: All I Want is a House

  1. Love the house you chose for your pic, very American! Beautiful.

    My family lived in the same house from when I was born until I was 25 years old; on the opposite end of the spectrum to you, the loss I feel in relation to them no longer being in that house is indescribable. I still live in the same town and often drive past, and when I see the new owners my brain immediately thinks “get out of my house!!!” or “oh my god, my Dad would be horrified to see the state of the garden, you grubs!”

    I bought my first home when I was 24… I think I currently own the front door handle, and perhaps a couple of light switches, the rest belongs to the bank. I struggle to feel connected with it because I spent SO long in one place.

    I see what you’re aiming for… but part of me can’t help but feel there’s perhaps a healthy balance somewhere right in the middle of where we both came from 🙂

    • Thank you for your perspective! I think you’re right about balance, battling one extreme with the complete opposite rarely results in an ideal outcome. I hope you start to feel more connected to your house soon, or maybe even find one you are more connected to 🙂

  2. Thanks – the bond is growing, I guess it takes time. I’ve been here for 8 years in May, to my husband it still feels a bit like he is living in my house, rather than we are living in our house, if that makes sense. He sees it as our home, but my house. We’re trying to start a family, I wonder if having my first child here will bring a stronger sense of family, and thus a deeper connection with the home? Time will tell!

    We would like to sell and re-buy, but as my wage makes up about 65% of our joint income, a new (larger) home and therefore a larger mortgage is something that will need to wait until after we’ve had a baby and I am back at work.

  3. I lived in the same house growing up, and then when we moved I was a teenager. I never connected with the house, I think I was going through lots of changes and the change in house just added to the chaos! I have two siblings that were born in my parent’s current house, and I find it weird that they view it as home and a safe place. For me, even as an adult, when I think of home I think of the house I grew up in as a child.

    I moved out when I was 18, and have rented three houses in the past 3 years. I feel like I don’t have a home, even though I’m living with family. I just don’t feel at home, in their home. I want a house too, a perfect house so I don’t have to think about moving for ages. Sadly I have a restless personality so I don’t think I could ever live in the same place for too long. I need the change!

  4. Ah, feel the very same way. I don’t so much care about earning a lot of money, or owning a car, and I don’t even want to get married! But a house of my own: that is the one aspect of the American Dream that is firmly lodged within me.

  5. Pingback: The Leibster Award | Med Until I Make It

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